Help for Abusive Parents (RE: Murderous Thoughts)

I just wanted to add to my previous post that I know that there are moms and dads out there who have lost control of their temper, who may have even hurt their children, and who are looking for help to break free from this vicious cycle.

A parent (yes, even a Christian parent!) might have had right intentions at first by thinking, “I’m doing the right thing by disciplining my child!” and then they may have gotten too carried away and lost control while disciplining – resulting in child abuse.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that by God’s grace, you can be forgiven and you can change.

I am not a counselor, and I’ve never had experience in working with anyone dealing with child abuse before – but here is an example of one way you might pray about this:

“Dear God, I know that you gave this child and I know that you want me to raise him/her in way that honors you. Please forgive me for losing control and abusing my child. I admit this to you, knowing that you saw me the whole time and that I have nothing to hide from you. Forgive me for hurting my child, emotionally and physically.

Please give me courage to apologize to my child. Please give me wisdom as I seek help – that the guidance I receive would not just be pop-psychology, but rather rooted in God’s Word. Lord, help me to be humble. Soften my heart so that I can receive wisdom and apply it to my life – instead of making excuses for my behavior.

Please help me to change. Please work in my heart and teach me to love my child in a way that brings honor and glory to you. Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross and paying for my sin of abusing my child. Please help me to rest in knowing that my sin has been paid for and that I am free to change my heart and my behavior – because I am a new creature in Christ – and that I do not have to be a slave to this sin any longer.

I pray for my child, Lord, that you will comfort them and remove this hurt that I have caused them. Help them to be able to forgive me. Help our relationship to be restored. I know that forgiveness and restoration may not happen immediately, and I trust the timing for this is in Your hands.

Lord, I admit that I am afraid of what might happen if I seek help. But Lord, I am turning the consequences over to you and I submit to you and TRUST you with my life, knowing that you love me and that it is for my good and your glory.

In Jesus Name, Amen.”

If you have prayed this prayer , please email me – okay? I want to support you by praying for you, too. If you do not know where to get help, I will do my best to help you find a Christian counselor in your area who can meet with you, offer you hope, and hold you accountable.

I might just post some more thoughts on this topic in the future… kinda mulling them over, and seeking wisdom before I blog.

Even as I look for resources for parents who have abused their children, I am not readily finding helpful ones with a Google search. It grieves me that there aren’t more resources that offer guidance beyond the ambiguous “get help.” I realize that it’s an uncomfortable topic. I can recommend calling Place of Refuge as a start. I have heard the founder, Diane Langberg, speak many times on the topic of abuse. She is the author of On The Threshold of Hope and Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse .

One resource for an example of parenting advice that is rooted in God’s Word, that I recommend to ALL parents, is Shepherding a Child’s Heart. Fill your mind with Godly parenting advice – so that you can prevent anger-blow ups before they even start by learning how to handle parenting / discipline situations in the RIGHT way. Please do this NOW before the next blow-up – don’t wait until you go too far again.