What if your wife always kept your favorite beer stocked in the fridge?
To some wives, it may seem like a crazy thing to do. Buying beer may not something “ingrained” into the way some women think – and it may even require a detour from their comfort zone to go to the beer section of the grocery store or even ::gulp:: to the beer distributor.
Would it make you feel loved, though, if she did?
It would let you know that she cared about the things that were important to you after a hard day’s work. It would let you know that she valued your contribution to the household, and that, rather than handing you one more thing for you to do when you get home, she’d find a way to be a blessing to you instead.
Consider this —
When you pick up your clothes vs. leave on floor for wife to clean, your actions tell her that you respect her time and personhood.
When I tweeted this earlier, my Twitter bud @Kuma said,
“You assume that his leaving [clothes] for wife is a conscious choice. As a single man I can tell you it is genetically ingrained. We will get to it when we need to. It’s just that women’s ‘need to’ threshold is so much lower.”
I definitely agree with Kuma that leaving laundry on the floor is a tough habit to break.
To clarify, I do not assume that, just because clothes are left on the floor, although it may feel like it to a lady with lots of housework on her to-do list, it is not usually the conscious intention of a man to stick it to his wife.
As Kuma alluded, many men may have had well-intentioned mothers who cleaned bedrooms for them since early childhood, and dirty laundry was whisked away as if magical elves lived in the crannies with the dust bunnies. (And yes, dear, if you’re reading this… I am sometimes guilty of this…. especially when the Realtor is en route!)
Part of what makes relationships special, though, is doing the things that aren’t always convenient.
In fact, when someone goes out of their comfort zone to honor someone else, it means much more than doing something that comes naturally.
Sure, it’s just a sock.
Or, a piece of underwear.
Or your clerty (kinda clean + kinda dirty) shirt.
For the woman you’d travel to the ends of the earth to woo, just picking up a piece of laundry shouldn’t be that big of a deal… right?
Now, for those of you wives who are reading this, before you forward this post to your laundry-leaving husbands, consider all of the wonderful things they already do for you.
Without any expectations of change, change your own heart first.
Picking up his favorite beverage shouldn’t be that big of a deal… right?
For husbands who do clean up their laundry or are considering making this change — know that it is a gesture that is much appreciated. Picking up your clothes is one of many subtle ways to underscore how much you care.
To make everyday married love work, you have to put love in the everyday.
Photo credit : Anders Adermark and Jeezny.