Posted on by Sarah Joy Albrecht

You Made Me Sin

Hooray for cooler weather!

“Red alert. Put the kettle on!”

Instead of my usual coffee (which can be spiced up by mixing a dash of cinnamon with the grounds before brewing – thanks to my friend Sarah for this tip!), I made a steamy mug of Stash’s Double Spice Chai Black Tea. The flavor of the tea made me want to bake some biscotti! (My own not-so-secret recipe is posted here in the NGoYR archives.)

In my In-Box this morning was a note from Carolyn McCulley. Even though I am happily married, it is important to me to understand and build relationships with women of all ages and stages of life. McCulley, who is unmarried, has a wonderful way of encouraging single (and married!) women in the Lord. She works with Sovereign Grace Ministries and authored “Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye:Trusting God with a Hope Deferred.”

I had asked her opinion of Debbie Maken’s book “Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness.” The Canon Press bookstore now carries title, and Nancy’s Wilson’s review can be found here. McCulley is now penning some thoughts on book to be posted on her blog, Solo Femininity. I look forward to reading her review.

Boundless, a Focus on the Family webzine for the college and career crowd, recently published an article by McCulley entitled, “You Made Me Sin”.

It’s easy sin by holding others in contempt, running them down (disobeying Ephesians 4:29) and by justifying yourself by saying that it’s not your fault, because the person deserved your tongue lashing. (James 1:19-20 comes to mind here.)

I love this article because in it, McCulley gets to the heart of this sort of blame shifting, citing Dr. David Powlison’s analogy of the sponge.

The story of “Jake” and “Siena” mirrors the sort of conversations we frequently hear… sigh… and even generate. Because indulging gossip by listening is participation, I especially appreciated McCulley’s breakdown of Philippians 4:8 :

The Holy Spirit helps us to store in our hearts love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). We make those deposits by focusing our thoughts the way the apostle Paul directs us in Philippians 4:8. We do this by training ourselves to think about what is:

  • true (not speculation or assumption);
  • honorable (assume the best first);
  • just (we are objects of mercy ourselves);
  • pure (untainted by gossip or slander);
  • lovely (whatever reflects the glory of Christ);
  • commendable (an evidence of God’s grace at work),
  • excellent (find what’s right — and not just what’s wrong — in this circumstance)
  • praiseworthy (there is always something for which to thank God)

It’s perfect tidbit to use when redirecting our own thoughts or the conversations of others. It’s also just the right size to print and post above the kitchen sink as a meditation for the dishwasher (uh… that would be me).

Please read McCulley’s article. I hope that it encourages you as much as it encouraged me!

Also, for quick further reading on using words in a way that encourage others, I’d recommend reading the web page “Encouraging One Another”.