Fellowship Without Forgiveness: Impossible

This is today’s Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional. Wow. So simple, so profound. If you want to read it from it’s original source, click here.

Fellowship Without Forgiveness: Impossible
by Jon Walker

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

Fellowship without forgiveness is impossible.

As believers, we’re called “to settle our relationships with each other.” (2 Corinthians 5:18 MSG) We need to consistently forgive others and receive forgiveness from others, or we’ll “give up in despair.” (2 Corinthians 2:7 CEV)

Whenever we’re hurt by someone, we have a choice to make: Will we focus on retaliation or resolution?

The Bible speaks candidly about settling the score: “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15 NIV)

In God’s economy, it’s not enough to say we won’t seek revenge; we’re to press into the very heart of forgiveness, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave us. (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

The Bible is very clear that forgiveness is not optional for the Christ-follower. God sets this high standard because he knows how much is at stake in your life: Bitterness and unforgiveness are a cancer that eventually will destroy you from the inside out. Forgiveness is the scalpel that removes the tumor.

This doesn’t mean you’ll always be able to immediately forgive and be done with it. As you become more and more Christ-like, that will become possible, but for now you may have to work at forgiving someone who has hurt you in a particularly painful way. In other words, you may forgive this person but soon begin to feel a root of unforgiveness growing in your heart.

When this occurs, you can go to King Jesus and ask him to help you with this cycle. He will help you release the offender, and the Holy Spirit will guide you in your effort.

A major point here is that forgiveness is a choice you can make. The power of God, working within you, means you no longer have to remain a slave to unforgiveness or bitterness.

In Colossians, the Apostle Paul provides the basis and motivation for forgiveness: “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13 NLT). When we remember the price Jesus paid to forgive us, how can we not forgive? (Romans 5:8)

What now?

When you forgive, you’re not pretending it didn’t hurt – Forgiveness means you no longer hold the offense against the offender. It means you’ve pardoned the debt, and you’ve intentionally chosen to release the one who hurt you. We’re to love deeply, because “love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)

Stop right now and talk to God – Have an honest conversation with God about someone you need to forgive. Our heavenly Father knows that it’s not easy to let go of our hurts, but he will give you the grace to forgive.

Be honest with God – Cry out to God; tell him exactly how you feel. He won’t be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity, or bitterness.

If you feel like you are despairing, my parting thought is this: “Is there someone I need to seek forgiveness from or someone I need to forgive?” I love the part in the devotional that reminds us that God “won’t be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity, or bitterness.”

Many times we avoid pouring our heart out to God by praying little one-line prayers that redirect attention away from our own hearts or only scratch the surface. When we do this, we are only giving lip-service to God – we are not placing our full trust in Him. This is a symptom of pride in our hearts – thinking we can do a better job than God. It is only when we humbly place our trust in God’s power, acknowledging that we cannot forgive or seek forgiveness by our own strength, that we can unreservedly pour out our hearts (to God AND to those with whom we are in conflict!) and get to the root.

We don’t have to be afraid to tell God what we have done or how hurt we are – He already knows. He LOVES us and will give us the strength to seek forgiveness and forgive others. We can boldly seek forgiveness from others because our eternal debt has been paid through Christ’s sacrifice in our place – this takes the impossible weight off of the restoration process. We must forgive others and be restored to them because we have been forgiven an eternal debt and restored to God the Father through Christ’s sacrifice.

By the way, here’s a perspective-changing article on the difference between seeking mercy and seeking grace.

And, for further information on how to be at peace with others, check out the resources at Peacemaker Ministries.