My father once told me that people are like pendulums. If they are even-keeled, they will swing a little to the left and a little to the right. They more passionate and exuberant they “swing”, the pendulum swings back equally as angry/depressed.
My daughter is a perfect example of the latter. She is way hyper-cheerful OR dramatically crying into her pillow or making death threats towards her brothers.
This afternoon, out of the blue, Tab was a WRECK. She was crying because she no longer liked the black-lace overlay on her bright pink “princess” (fancy Easter dress way on sale, couldn’t pass it up for dress up!) dress. In the middle of talking about that, she said she was hungry. She was ANGRY (stomping, yelling) because I ate the last piece of spaghetti pie (in all fairness, we split it for lunch and she ate the larger of the portions). So, I prepared a glass of chocolate milk for her. Still mad that I had eaten what was my lunch, she pouted, cried and refused to say “thank you”. I gently talked to her about having anger and discontentment in her heart. (She does understand these things… little twerp constantly points out these characteristics when she sees them in others… and then we talk about grace, mercy and overlooking!) She agreed but would not confess them to God.
I sent her to her room for a nap and prayed that the Holy Spirit would work in her heart.
She did not sleep, but she went from sobbing (and not getting attention for it) to contemplating.
Thirty minutes later, she came down a new little girl and said she was ready to talk to God. We prayed and she readily sought the Lord’s forgiveness. She asked for the milk, and said thank you. A free Highlights Hidden Picture puzzle with stickers came in the mail today. I let her do that for fun.
To avoid exasperating her, and creating a situation where she is overwhelmed and tempted to sin, I do try to keep her fed (she is strong, and sturdily built), hydrated and rested the best I can. I try to avoid exasperating her with school work, as she is five years old and does 2nd grade work – very bright! This is not to say that I walk on eggshells with her, it’s just that she tends to be more sensitive to physical discomfort than some of my other children.
I do think I handled it okay today (goal of seeking forgiveness and changed attitude was achieved), but I’m wondering if there are specific things I can do to more head off such mood attacks before they get out of hand?
Any particular soothing or thought provoking phrases that would diffuse a tense situation?
Any encouragement for me from moms who have been through this? Particularly, how to keep the trust/confidence/friendship as a little girl with this personality hits adolescence?
And yes, I do believe in using the rod as outlined in Shepherding a Child’s Heart.
Thank you for taking the time to respond!!
If I can ever be of encouragement to you, please let me know!
Much love,
SJA
Eventually (and it might be a bit too soon), SHE needs to be able to take an inventory of these things when she is feeling upset. (So she can then learn to take her own feelings with a grain of salt, decide to sleep on it, etc) And if she learns to do that before the hormonal swings of puberty and pms, all the better!
I enjoy your blog, thank you for your time spent sharing your thoughts!
Have you read the new book Instructing a Child’s Heart – also by Tedd Tripp? He is our pastor up here in Hazleton, and he gave me a copy of the book. I’m not very far into it, but it might be helpful. My three year old has the same emotional swings, and seems to apologize only to get herself out of trouble. I’m scared to know what the future holds should we not learn how to handle them properly.
Praying for you!