This is an excerpt from the book, “When Your Soul Aches: Hope and Help for Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands.” by Lois Mowday Rabey:
No matter what a person’s believe has been in life, we cannot know what happens between him and God in those final moments before death. We are not to judge. All we can do is tell others the reason for the hope we have. An unbelieving husband maybe very well experience a change of heart and an encounter with the living God that remains unknown to us this side of heaven.
The biblical example that holds hope for our loved one is the story of the thief on the cross. Hanging there, close to death, this man said, “‘Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.’ [And] Jesus answered him, ‘I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.'” (Luke 23:42-43). This private moment between Jesus and the man offers comfort when a love one’s faith is in question.
I just finished reading When Your Soul Aches and was particularly moved by the above quote and wanted to pass it on. What a truthful and gentle response that would certainly bring peace to my soul if I was unsure of my husband’s salvation!
While it this book written to Christian women, is would also be a gentle witnessing tool to a widow, as questions about God may arise after losing a spouse.
Even if you have never experienced this kind of loss, please consider reading this book as it will give you a glimpse into the thoughts and questions widows may have and to help equip you to more effectively minister to them.
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” – James 1:27
Part/Section Headings:
Part I: “In the Early Days of Loss”
Section 1 “Will I Always Hurt This Deeply?”
One Step at a Time
“When Will Life Get Back to Normal?”
“What Did He Feel?”
Scent of a Memory
“After Forty-Five Years He’s Gone”
“When Will the Pain Go Away?”
“My Husband Made All the Decisions”
No “Right” Way to Grieve
Denial is Normal
“Where is My Husband When I Need Him?”
If Only…
What’s Your Way of Coping?
One Day You’ll Feel Ready to Move OnSection 2 – “Are There Things I Should Be Doing?”
Pray
Go Ahead and Create a Memorial
Getting Rid of the Bed
Write Down Comforting Scripture Verses
Record Your Feelings
Get Your Paperwork Organized ASAP
Become An Advocate for Yourself
Be Wise and Cautious About Financial Affairs
Earn a Living
Eat Well
Get a Physical
Find a Handyman
Take Safety PrecautionsSection 3 “Should I Be Feeling This Way?”
“Why Did This Happen?”
“I’m So Angry!”
Guilt About Feeling Good
Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds
“God, Where Are You?”
“How Can I Ever Trust Again?”
“What if My Husband Didn’t Believe in Jesus?”Section 4 “Where Can I Find Comfort?”
Let Yourself Cry
Comfort Through a Dream
You Are on Dry Land
“Can Our Loved Ones See Us?”
Your Husband is Saving a Seat at a Banquet
New and Glorious Bodies
Our Husbands See Clearly
A Place of Lasting Joy
A Taste of HeavenSection 5 “Help! I Never Wanted to be a Single Parent!”
“I’m Afraid to Discipline Too Much”
Shielding Your Children from More Pain
“That’s Not How Daddy Used to Do It”
Kids Long to Be “Normal”
You Have All You Need to be a Good Parent
You Are Not Your Child’s Father
If Your Child is Afraid of the Dark
Your Child’s Fear of Death
Putting First Things First
“I Can’t Remember What Daddy Looked Life”
Remembering as the Years Go By
Losing Your Husband When Your Children Are Grown
The Widow Without Children
“Who Provides Spiritual Direction For My Children?”Section 6 “How Do I Deal with Other People?”
Soak in the Love
When Everyone Has an Opinion
“No One Mentions His Name”
“Why Don’t You Cry?”
Soul Friends
Fewer Close Relationships
Recognizing Other People’s Pain
PART II : “When You’re Ready to Move Ahead”Section 7 “How Do I Move on with My Life?”
Putting Away the Photos
Cleaning Out the Closet
You Will Become a Different Person
Taking Risks
Becoming a Wonder Woman
Leaving on a Jet Plane
Moving Beyond Labels
Celebrate Holidays in New WaysSection 8 “What About Men?”
Whispered Questions
When You Are Content to Stay Single
Admitting Desire
Vulnerability Can Lead to Poor Choices
The Pain of Compromise
Avoid Romanticizing Love and Dating
The Rules Have Changed
Let Go of Comparisons
Blind Dates
The Problem of Perceptions
If Mr. Right Does Come AlongSection 9 “What Does the Future Hold?”
Feed on Hope
God is Faithful
More Sweet Than Bitter
A Rich Full Life
Cling to Him
The Wonder of Healing
God Will Work Things Out for Your GoodAdditional Scriptures for Comfort, Inspiration and Instruction
Much love,
Sarah Joy Albrecht